Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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