Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
