3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
