She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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