My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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