do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
