She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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