In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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