I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
