We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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