i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
