i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
