once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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