From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
