I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize