I'm going to jail i love you
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize