you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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