The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
