Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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