Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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