I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize