i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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