You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
