i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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