based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
