Whod you bang
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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