The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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