My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
