Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
