I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
