Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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