I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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