I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
