I faked an abortion last night.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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