i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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