woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
