i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
