New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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