he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize