but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My pussy is not your playground.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
