I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
