i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
