Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
