It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize