Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Best friends brother. Beat that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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