I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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