Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
