i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
