My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
