I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
