Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
