There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
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Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
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I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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