margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
