She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
