The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
