She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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