it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
