be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
