He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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