Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
