I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize